When my clients first contact me, one of their biggest goals is to lose weight. During their complimentary Body & Soul Strategy Call, we uncover what is REALLY going on for them and what’s blocking them from losing the weight. Because even though they present with a weight issue, it’s not actually about the weight….it goes far beyond that!
Their pain, their struggles and their dreams are far greater than the physical goal of shedding the kgs! Let’s explore this some more.
In our heart-to-heart call, we uncover what their real struggles are. Most often these Beauties feel uncomfortable in their clothes, they feel heavy and fatigued in their body, they are super stressed and have a negative mindset that keeps them on the vicious cycle of eating their emotions. Often they have emotional pain from childhood experiences that resulted in a lack of self-worth, low confidence and hating on their body. Ultimately they have felt felt ‘not good enough’ for many years.. I’m sure you can relate! We’ve all felt that before and for some, it’s a constant daily struggle to feel good enough, to feel loved and appreciated by others. For most of my clients when they first contact me, it’s a daily struggle for them to even love and appreciate themselves.
…And when I say ‘it’s not actually about the weight’, this is exactly what I’m referring to.
We live in a society where there are air-brushed social media posts, celebrities who appear to have it all together, we see people walking down the street who look as though they have no problems, we get told what our ideal weight should be by someone else, we are flooded with diets that sell a perfect body and are constantly comparing ourselves to others.
So it’s no wonder we live in a society where low self-confidence, poor body image, eating disorders and a lack of self-love is rampant. Not to mention the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual stress that is also experienced each day.
So when I speak to women who say they want to lose 10 kg’s or fit into the size 10 clothes they’ve had sitting in the cupboard for 20 years, we do not stop there until they identify what it is they REALLY WANT!
If weight loss is something you also desire, take a moment and ask yourself these questions: What do you think the weight loss would actually change and do for you? Would it improve your self-confidence? What is it that you want that’s far bigger than the weight loss? Perhaps it’s to fall in love with yourself (and this is not an egotistical goal, this is our birth-right!)? Do you deeply want to be proud of yourself and have a loving relationship with your body? To live a life full of joy and purpose? To live a long, healthy and happy life?
When we feel deeply connected to who we are, live a life of value and purpose, while practicing loving kindness towards ourselves each day - this is where your weight issues dissolve because these are the core elements of nourishing your mind, body and soul!
You can eat healthily and exercise each day but if you are not truly happy and living a life you love, your soul pays the price and the stress you experience each day can often be found on your hips.
If you find yourself using chocolate and wine as a means to feel better (yep it can help temporarily - I’ve done this countless times) then you are lacking a connection to your body and lacking joy in your life. It’s so easy to use food as comfort instead of sitting with the uncomfortable feelings and facing reality.
So Beauty, weight loss is not actually about the weight - it’s far greater than the number you weight and the size of your clothes. At the core of it, weight loss is about self-love and although this may seem like an airy fairy term that’s thrown all over social media at the moment, self-love is real and it can be real for you too.
Self-love is when we treat ourselves with kindness and respect. It’s when we honour our body and all parts ourselves by removing the judgement and seeing ourselves for the true beauty that we are. Self-love is a state of being, one that radiates from you when you speak, the way you act and it is evident in the way you think about yourself and the world.
And it is a journey…
By no means do you wake up loving yourself unconditionally overnight. It takes a conscious effort to let go of the pain of past, of the bullying you experienced when you were 10 years old, of the hurt your parents caused you from their yelling and screaming. It takes time to heal the victim mentality we often fall into and the years of self-hate that we have spoken towards ourselves.
And on this journey, you not only let go of the past and the old negative programming of your mind, you embrace an incredible transformation where you learn who you are. You learn how to think in way that connects you to your true self, that allows a deep connection to your body, one of gratitude and love. When you begin to deepen this connecting with yourself, you begin to honour, respect and appreciate YOU, all parts of you, as you continue to make positive changes in your life.
I’ll let you in on a little secret….it’s a hell of a lot easier to shift the weight and keep it off for life when you focus on the reasons WHY weight became an issue in the first place. And this journey is one of the most transformational, magical and inspiring roads you could ever possibly take!
Not only do my clients experience a permanent shift in their weight when they embrace this journey, their results and transformations far exceed this. And to witness this each day fills my heart with so much joy and love for them all.
I’d like to invite you to consider this; next time you find yourself saying that you would like to lose weight, ask yourself those questions I asked above and identify what it is that you truly DEEPLY want. Deeper than wanting to lose weight will ultimately be that you want to be happy in your skin, or love who you are, or feel proud of yourself and your life. Find what’s true for you.
And when you identify what it is you REALLY want, that becomes your WHY and it is your WHY that is your biggest driver, your most deep seated desire and goal.
This is why diets fail many, as they have not identified their WHY. We too often dive into a new diet to lose weight, with no emotional attachment to why we want it in the first place. Signing up to the new 6 week weight loss program online with no reason other than to just lose the weight is a sure fire way to lose motivation, lack interest and feel deprived the entire time. To then rebound and put the weight back on and over-eat later.
Now that you know why it is you want to lose weight and you know that it’s not actually about the weight, that it’s far greater than the weight, it’s about loving who you are - you are now ready to take the first step. And that first step is up to you…it’s for you to decide what to do. For you to fall in love with who you are, to love your body, feel proud of yourself, radiate confidence, make healthy food choices, and strive to be the best version of yourself - it all starts today. Right now!
The weight will shift in time so for now, forget the weight, ditch the scales and the diets! Your weight will adjust permanently ONLY when your mind, body and soul becomes more nourished. And this is possible for you, when you make a simple and powerful decision to TODAY, begin the journey of loving you!
Start becoming aware of the thoughts that play in your mind each day.
Notice how often you speak kindly to yourself and how often you put yourself down.
Watch without judgement, just curiosity!
Notice how those thoughts make you feel.
What choices do you make when you feel that way?
Ask yourself are you running away from your feelings or do you allow them to be there? What are they trying to teach you?
Allow your feelings - allow them all!
Look at how often you do things each day that bring joy to your life. Things that you truly value and that speak to your heart.
Choose more of those!
Those are just a few of the many powerful steps you can start practicing today to deepen your connection to yourself and as you do, witness your self-awareness, self-compassion and self-love grow.
Sending you so much body-bliss and luscious love,
Bianca Jane xo
If you are sick of the daily self-sabotage and body-hate, and you would like to know how Bianca and her team can help you transform your body and soul, schedule your complimentary Body & Soul Strategy Call today.